Santa Visit

The kids and McKenzie saw Santa tonight

This hit home today

I woke up this morning in a complete panic.  Different than most days, as the worry in my heart was more intense than the normal worry a mother feels.  As a mother you worry about your children, constantly.  With Evan's most recent diagnoses and viral illnesses, and the frustration that I feel on a daily basis, I think it is all catching up with me today.  I try not to weeny whine about it because frankly, it is easy to feel misunderstood.  People brush it under the rug, and don't see the day to day.  God is the only one that really understands what is going on, so I do take great comfort in that.  Today I came across this wonderful article on a VCFS chat board that I am on.  It helps me get some answers in between waiting to see specialists.  It is a community that is going through very similar things that my family is going through.  Although we have been blessed with great educators for our children so far, I felt this was a great article and a raw understanding of what a mother/teacher is feeling.

Dear Parents of Special-Needs Children I’ve Taught In the Past,

I need to make a big apology.  You see, I’ve been teaching now for fourteen years, but I have only just recently joined your ranks.

I didn’t know.  Not even a clue.  I thought, mistakenly, that having two special-needs children in my family made me more sensitive toyour needs as a parent.  It didn’t.  And I’m so sorry for operating under the assumption that I did.  I’m not attempting verbal self-flagellation here.  I meant well.  I knew a lot about autism and some about other special-needs conditions.  I did care about your child.  And I did want to do right by him.  But, like a lot of teachers who Just Don’t Get It, I thought doing right by him meant giving him extra time on assignments and not allowing him to fail my class.  I thought being extra nice and seating her at the front of the room was what you needed from me.

But you needed more.  And I didn’t understand that.  You needed communication.  A lot of it.  You needed me to understand your depth of worry.  You needed me to understand that, if you’ve met one special-needs child, you’ve met one special-needs child.  You needed me to understand that I was teaching your child, not an I.E.P.  You needed to know, not assume, that I would go out on a limb to make sure your child’s needs were met all over the school and not just in my classroom.  You needed to not worry that, when your back was turned, I was still doing everything that I promised as well as thinking of better ways to meet your child’s needs.  You needed to talk about your child in meetings and not worry about the clock.

I know better now.  In just a few months, I am going to be placing my special little boy into the hands of the public school system.  Because he is non-verbal, I will have no way of literally knowing how his  day went, if he is being treated well, and if those to whom I am entrusting his care really do care about him.  This kind of fear is paralyzing.  And more so because I know just how little training (read almost none) that most of the staff in a public school have in dealing with children like my son.  They, too, will mean well.  But they won’t know.  They won’t get it.  I now know why you carry The Binder of Epic Proportions to every meeting.  Mine is getting bigger by the day.

I look back now at all of your children and wish that I had picked up the phone more, written quick notes home more often, challenged your child more often rather than less, and make you feel certain that someone else loved your baby in your absence.  For that, I’m sorry.  I promise to do better for those kids in the future.  I promise to not assume anything about your child’s unique situation and needs.  I won’t just react to bullying of your very different child.  I will actively be on the lookout for it.  I will remember your child and her possible confusion on activity bell schedule days.  I will take more time each day to get to know her.  I promise to do my best to push, cajole, educate, and even take to task my colleagues who don’t get it in the years to come.  I pray that teacher training will improve in the future and that my son will reap the rewards of that.  And I hope that I am just as patient, kind, and understanding with his teachers and schools as most of you were with us.

And those of you who weren’t?  I get you too.

Sincerely,

Your Child’s Former Teacher

3 day 60 mile Breast cancer walk

In November of 2012 I am going to be participating in the 3 day 60 mile Breast Cancer walk in San Diego, CA.  In order to do this walk I need to fundraise $2300.  This walk is a personal goal of mine and it is also to honor both of my Grandmothers and an Aunt that are/were survivors.  Everyone has their own charity that they like to contribute to, but if you are feeling led to support my walk (60 miles!) I would be very grateful.  You can donate online at The3Day.org or call 1 800-996-3DAY to make a donation with a credit card.  If you would like to pay by check you can send a check to me and I will send it in for you with a registration form. Please make all checks payable to “Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure®”and write the Participant ID number 6428361 in the memo.  All donations are tax deductible.  Also if you work for a company that does matching donations, that would be great to let them know. If you would like to join the walk we are looking for more team members.

Thank you for your consideration!

Quick link to donate online:

http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Events/General?fr_id=1430&pg=pfind